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Before today’s sit, I continue the conversation I began a few weeks ago about how we view meditation in the Open Heart Project. The first point was that we engage in daily ritual. The second was that we live as mystics hiding in plain sight. And today, I want to talk about something many spiritual traditions regard as a problem: your personal hopes, fears, preferences, and feelings.

I see it differently. The personal is not an obstacle. It is the way.

Who you are, what hurts you, what delights you, what confuses you—these are not things to get rid of. They are where practice begins. When we are willing to feel what we feel with kindness and curiosity, our hearts naturally open toward others who feel the same things.

Please have a listen and let me know what you think.

With love,
Susan

The post Starting With Who You Are (It is Not an Obstacle to Your Practice) appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Before today’s sit, I continue our conversation about some of the less obvious but deeply felt impacts of meditation practice. Last week we talked about ritual and the way it reminds us that practice is not only about self-improvement. This week I talk about what I called “living as mystics hiding in plain sight.”

I know that sounds dramatic, but I don’t mean anything exotic by it. I mean something more ordinary and more profound: remembering there is something deeper going on in our lives than simply accomplishing tasks, chasing success, or trying to avoid discomfort. Those things matter, of course. But meditation practice shows us another way of relating to our experience, to one another, and to suffering itself.

I also talk a little about the Buddhist understanding of suffering and the difference between the pain that is part of being human and the extra suffering we tend to add on top of it. Awareness can uncover the difference.

As always, these are things I am exploring alongside you, not truths I have mastered. I’m very interested to hear what you think.

With love,
Susan

PS: I discuss more on topics like this in my upcoming book, Inexplicable Magic: Meditation for Mystics. Coming in June!

The post The unmeasurable results of meditation practice appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Before today’s sit, I share some thoughts about ritual and why I believe it matters so much in spiritual practice. Meditation can certainly help us sleep better, reduce stress, or become more patient. Those things are real and valuable. But when practice becomes only another item on the self-improvement list, something important can disappear.

Ritual changes the atmosphere. It reminds us that practice is not only about accomplishing something. It is also about relating to mystery, wisdom, and what I call liminal space, the space between our ordinary habits of mind and something larger.

This week, I talk about creating a personal ritual, whether that means a shrine table, lighting a candle, chanting, saying a prayer, or simply pausing. I also share details about my own daily practice and the rituals that help me feel connected and tethered to what matters most.

I would love to hear what rituals, gestures, or practices help support your own meditation life.

With love,
Susan

PS: This is also a principle I discuss in my upcoming book, Inexplicable Magic: Meditation for Mystics. Coming in June!

The post What Ritual Makes Possible appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I heard something the other day in the morning meditation at The Open Heart Project sangha: a thoughtful, well-done study confirms that meditation improves your brain and can make you happier.

That’s meaningful and encouraging.

It also reminded me that there’s another kind of understanding of meditation, one that comes from thousands of years of lived experience. We are not broken. No one needs to be fixed. Meditation can help us relax into our goodness, our confusion, our weirdness, all of it. Somehow, this relaxing with who we are and what is actually happening wakes us up. The door to compassion and clarity opens wide.

In this week’s podcast, I share seven principles that compliment this view of practice. It starts with the understanding that you are whole, right now, and you always have been. Your thoughts and emotions are part of the path. Even heartbreak has something to show us. Boundaries matter. And what we discover in practice naturally extends beyond ourselves.

Meditation may help us feel better, but it can also help us show up more fully for our lives, just as we are. No fixing required.

If this resonates, you are warmly invited to listen to the full podcast episode (#53).

Warmly,
Susan

PS: This is also the subject of my upcoming book, Inexplicable Magic: Meditation for Mystics. Coming in June!

The post There’s more to meditation than feeling better appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

When an Open Heart Project sangha member asked if Buddhists pray, I wondered if that was what I was doing in my efforts to connect. Please watch this video for more!

Your thoughts and reactions are always appreciated, please let me know any and all.

With love,
Susan

PS: I made a lengthier podcast episode on this topic and you can listen here. 

The post Do Buddhists pray? appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I wrote to you recently about not feeling settled, about living among boxes and in-between spaces, about that strangely tender mix of disorientation and possibility. I had a feeling many of you would understand, but, I didn’t quite anticipate the depth, honesty, and humanity of what you shared in return.

A special thanks to all who sent a response to how you settle into a new space. Your suggestions feel like a kind of collective practice. Each voice distinct, but linked by a willingness to stay present in the midst of change.

Some of you wrote from places of real upheaval. One of you described five weeks of homelessness before finding stable housing, and the lingering sense of “holding on” that doesn’t immediately disappear when circumstances improve. There was grief there, too, of a partner, of a long-time home, of a life that cannot be replicated. And yet, alongside that: caring for a 19-year-old cat, cooking familiar meals, walking when possible, and finding solace in trees.

Others of you spoke about moving again and again (four times in a year, eight times in a decade), and learning to “welcome the reset.” I loved that phrase. Not because resetting is easy, but because resisting it seems to cost much more.

You shared so many small, caring acts that create a sense of home:

Fresh flowers on a table.
Bread in the oven.
A favorite mug, local honey, morning tea.
A made bed and good pajamas.
Books within reach, even if unread.

These small gestures say: I am here.

Several of you spoke about the power of rhythm: cleaning a drawer, unpacking one box, watering plants, noticing birds. One of you described making the acquaintance of a cardinal outside a window. Another spoke of meeting “tree neighbors” and “dog neighbors” on daily walks. I was moved by the way you described belonging as an exercise in attention.

And then there were the rituals. You have several beautiful suggestions:

Creating an altar to say goodbye to a former home.
Standing in a disorienting corner while wrapped in something comforting.
Placing a feather on each windowsill as a reminder of trust.
Offering seeds to birds as a gesture of openness.
Ringing a meditation bowl to soften the unseen edges of a space.
Simply standing in a corner, breathing, and asking: what do I see?

Not one of these is about forcing a feeling of “settled.” They are about making contact with grief, with space, with the unknown, with life as it is now.

A few of you spoke about relating to the land itself. Saying thank you. Asking permission. Wondering what might be offered in return. It’s such a different orientation from the usual “moving into” a place. More like entering into relationship.

And woven through all of this, through loss, transition, uncertainty, and even moments of joy, was practice.

Meditating.
Walking.
Sitting with others.
Lighting a candle.
Drinking tea.

Continuing.

One of you shared a story of moving closer to family after deep loss and uncertainty, and how, slowly, a new life began to take shape. Afternoons at the art gallery, grandchildren around the table, and unexpected closeness all reminded me that “settling” is not just about a place. It’s about allowing a life to form again, in its own way, on its own timeline.

If there is something I take from all of your reflections, it is this:

Settling is not an event. It’s not even a goal, exactly.

It is a practice.

A living, breathing process of arriving, again and again, in a place that may or may not feel like ours yet. Of letting it be unsettled. Of participating anyway.

Thank you for sharing your lives with me in this way. It means more than I can say.

With love,
Susan

Guided Meditations

5 minutes

10 minutes

15 minutes

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The post Not settled, still practicing appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I am thrilled and nauseated and delighted to say that I’ve finished the manuscript for my next book. Thrilled, because it was created to honor my extraordinary teachers of the last three decades. Nauseated, because what writer isn’t. Delighted because it’s done. It should be out in the next few months. It will be self-published in print, e-book, and audiobook formats. (I LOVE SELF-PUBLISHING.)

My hope with this work is to remind us that meditation is not about stress-reduction or mastery particularly. It’s about waking up to the vast mystery that we consistently mistake for “me.” I think that’s an okay way to say it. But let me refer you to the words of Samuel Bercholz, publisher and teacher extraordinaire. He has published many great teachers, including Pema Chödrön and many Rinpoches and Roshis, so his words mean the world to me. Sam founded Shambhala Publications, the greatest dharma book publisher in the world.

He said:

If you’re looking for a book that will make you calmer, more efficient, and slightly better at meetings…keep walking.

Inexplicable Magic is about what meditation actually does: it messes with your plans, softens your defenses, and introduces you to a kind of intelligence you don’t control.

Susan Piver isn’t selling mindfulness as a lifestyle accessory. She’s pointing to the real thing—lineage, mystery, heartbreak, and the strange fact that what you’re looking for doesn’t come from you… it comes to you.

Not self-improvement.
Not optimization.

Something far more interesting.

—Samuel Bercholz, author of Rude Awakenings, An Unconventional Guide to the Buddhist Path and A Guided Tour of Hell

Here are the opening paragraphs of the introduction:

Picture this: Siddhartha Gautama (AKA Buddha Shakyamuni) has just attained complete enlightenment. After years of searching, fasting, meditating, and contemplating, getting closer and closer but never quite realizing nirvana, he decides to take a seat under a tree (now called the bodhi tree) and not rise until he pierces the veil of delusion. Which he does. He wakes up.

He rejoins his spiritual community to share with them what he discovered. There are many accounts of what he said, and those accounts have created the foundation of Buddhist thought throughout the world. He talks about the Four Noble Truths. He discusses the Middle Way. He teaches meditation. He does not say, “I’ve discovered a life hack, y’all” or “Meditation will make you a better leader” or “Trouble sleeping? This will help!” He makes no mention of cortisol, nor does he discuss ways to improve mental processes. Rather, I imagine he says something like,

“Please try to wake up from delusion and then help others to do so. We exist within a great expanse without center or fringe, so simply open up—to yourself, others, animals, trees, the planet, everything. Meditation practice teaches just this.”

(I’m guessing here, as you may realize.)

The pith of the Buddha’s teachings is not consonant with today’s meditation trends and this short book offers a counter-reminder that this ancient and profound and absurdly simple practice has a much more soulful context. It is a practice which breaks your heart open—first to yourself, then to others, then to this world, and then, at some point, to the great bliss of abiding in the true nature. Heartbreak is among the essential seed syllables. (More on that later.)

It is wonderful, of course, that in recent years “mindfulness” has become a thing. It’s important to know how to focus and pay attention in this world of surging inputs. However, it seems that something has gone awry. Rather than a path to wisdom, compassion, and bravery, mindfulness has become synonymous with stress-reduction, inner peace, and mastery. A short glance at search engine results for “mindful” reveals the mindful leader, the mindful parent, mindful sleep, football, marriage, communication, even mocktails. (Indeed, there is a book called “The Mindful Mocktail: Delicious, Nutritious Non-Alcoholic Drinks to Make at Home.” Bless!)

When it comes to meditation as a spiritual practice, mindfulness is definitely part of it. But it is only half of what goes on. I posit that this mysterious other half is where the magic lies. When we sit down to meditate, we establish an uplifted posture, allow our attention to rest on the wave of breath, and let thoughts come and go (which they most certainly will do whether we “allow” them to or not). If it happens one thousand times that your attention becomes absorbed in thought rather than breath, you notice this, let go, come back, and begin again one thousand times. (See Appendix A for full instruction.) This is called mindfulness. You rest your mind on an object of your choosing (in this case, breath) and whenever you space out, you come back. That’s all there is to it. In this way, you cultivate focus, precision, concentration, and…mindfulness. It’s a very great thing but it really has nothing to do with parenting or mocktails. Though your increased mindfulness may enhance your capacity for patience with little ones or making a baller Cucumber-Kombucha Margarita (which actually sounds pretty good), that is not its particular purpose. It’s simply a skill.

Mindfulness is the ground, not the fruition.

The other quality that meditation rouses is “awareness.” This is where it gets very interesting. Meditators the world over and throughout time have reported very similar results. Sense perceptions become more vibrant. Life patterns are intuited. Hearts soften. Insights arise. In other words, awareness expands. You see more, feel more, know more. (Riddle me this: how does this happen from sitting there doing nothing? I really hope no one knows because not-knowing preserves the impenetrable mystery—and one can have ultimate confidence only in what cannot be deconstructed.)

Mindfulness can be worked at. You can read books about it, try harder, hone it more and more deeply. Awareness, however, cannot be worked at, only allowed. In meditation practice, mindfulness and awareness are inseparable. They exist as a single enso.

Now we arrive at the secret gate. No matter how smart, learned, well-read, or well-intended you are, you cannot compel what is most desirable—love, wisdom, creative self-expression, innovation—to come to you. These are things that we receive. They are beyond conventional thought. Otherwise we’d all be running around fully loving and wise, spewing great artworks hither and yon. But it just doesn’t work that way. I mean, it can’t be a coincidence that some of the worlds’ greatest insights and ideas have come to people who are sleeping, showering, or walking.

Which brings me to what is probably the central point of this work on meditation as a spiritual practice:

What you seek does not come from you. It comes to you.

When we employ our meditation practice for conventional (albeit noble) aims like leading, parenting, sleeping, quelling anxiety and crafting mocktails, various studies tell us it will help. If you want these things, you could learn to meditate. But if you want to discover who you really are, deepen your capacity for intimacy, become liberated from suffering, and leap tall buildings in order to be of the greatest possible benefit to all sentient beings, you could release your agenda for this practice. Over and over. While the practice has the capacity to help you sleep better and so on, it is also custom-made for demolishing self-concept to reveal a much bigger self than you may ever have dreamed of. As it does, it cultivates the three qualities of the awakened mind, which far exceed anything you might imagine. These three qualities—remarked upon by great masters of the ages—are wisdom, compassion, and power (or bravery, if you prefer). These are the actual consequences of practice and, as such, meditation once again reveals itself as so much more than self-improvement.

Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more.

Love,
Susan

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So far in our exploration of the Noble Eightfold Path, we have been laying a foundation for how we see, how we act, and how we meet our lives. We began with Right View and Right Intention, then moved into Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, and most recently, Right Mindfulness, returning to the placement of attention and the synchronization of mind and body.

Now we come to the final step: Right Samadhi, often translated as concentration or absorption.

What does this mean? It is not about forcing the mind to focus or becoming good at meditation. It is about learning to place your attention on something and, when it wanders, bringing it back. From there, it becomes the ability to stay with what you are doing, to follow it through, and to let your attention fully land in the experience.

There is also something more here. As attention steadies, it can extend beyond ourselves, into real connection with others, and even further into a loosening of the sense that there is a separate “me” at the center of everything.

Please have a listen. I truly hope this exploration of the Noble Eightfold Path has been useful to you. Let me know what you think. I always love hearing from you.

Warmly,
Susan

The post Ancient Wisdom for Difficult Times: The Eighth Step of the Eightfold Path appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

So far in our exploration of the Noble Eightfold Path, we have been laying a foundation for how we see, how we act, and how we meet our lives. We began with Right View and Right Intention, then moved into Right Speech, Right Action, and Right Livelihood, and most recently, Right Effort, the commitment to not give up on ourselves or our world.

Now we come to the seventh step: Right Mindfulness.

What does it mean to be mindful? Not perfect, not constantly calm, but present. Here, mindfulness is less about achieving a particular state and more about placing your attention on what is happening right now.

When attention drifts, as it will, we simply notice and return. Again and again, we come back. In this way, we begin to synchronize mind and body, resting in what is actually here rather than getting lost in what we think about it.

Interestingly, there is a kind of relaxation that arises from this. Not necessarily feeling peaceful, but being fully engaged. When mind and body are in the same place, something softens.

Please have a listen. I would love to hear what you notice, and any reflections or questions that arise.

Warmly,
Susan

The post Ancient Wisdom for Difficult Times: The Seventh Step of the Eightfold Path appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

So far, in our conversations about the Noble Eightfold Path, we have explored Right View, seeing clearly; Right Intention, examining our motivations; Right Speech, verifying the honesty of our words; and Right Action, understanding our impact and committing to non-harm; and Right Livelihood, bringing our work and resources into alignment with the path.

Now we move on to the sixth step: Right Effort.

What does it mean to apply effort without strain? To be diligent without pushing or forcing?

Right Effort is not about working harder. Most of us are already doing that. Instead, it invites a steady, caring persistence. A willingness to begin again, to stay engaged, and to not give up on ourselves, on others, or on the world.

This kind of effort is both gentle and strong. It supports what leads to clarity and lets go of what leads to confusion. It keeps us oriented toward what is beneficial, even when it’s not easy.

Please have a listen to this short talk, followed by a guided 10-minute meditation. I would love to hear what you think, and any reflections or questions that arise.

Warmly,
Susan

P.S. I’m covering the Noble Eightfold Path on my podcast. There’s an in-depth talk on Right Livelihood, Episode 48, that you can listen to here (if you want to).

The post Ancient Wisdom for Difficult Times: The Sixth Step of the Eightfold Path appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Today I wanted to let you know that my book, The Buddhist Enneagram, has just been released in a new edition by Shambhala Publications.

The book explores how the wisdom of Buddhism and the Enneagram can illuminate each other. Together, these two systems offer a powerful way to understand how we move through the world, how our attention organizes experience, and how we can deepen our relationships with ourselves and others.

In its pages, I explore the nine Enneagram types through a Buddhist lens and share reflections, teachings, and practices drawn from nearly three decades of studying both traditions side by side. The goal is not simply to describe personality patterns, but to offer a path of genuine self-discovery and spiritual growth.

Whether you are new to the Enneagram or have been studying it for years, my hope is that this book helps you see yourself more clearly and connect more deeply with the people in your life.

If you’d like to learn more or pick up a copy of the new edition, you can find it here.

Thank you, as always, for being part of this community. We’ll get back to the Noble Eightfold Path series next week (picking back up at Right Effort).

Warmly,
Susan

P.S. There’s a new episode (47) of Buddhism Beyond Belief that goes into more detail about the book available wherever you enjoy podcasts.

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In our conversations about the Noble Eightfold Path, we have explored Right View, seeing clearly; Right Intention, examining our motivations; Right Speech, verifying the honesty of our words; and Right Action, understanding our impact and committing to non harm.

Today we move on to the fifth step: Right Livelihood.

How can we turn work, money, and the effort to express ourselves into part of the spiritual journey?

Right Livelihood asks us to look directly at how we earn a living. Not as a separate, practical concern, but as practice itself. The workplace, our financial exchanges, and our creative efforts all become part of the path.

Certain ways of working increase confusion and suffering. Others decrease them. The question is not whether we are being good. The question is whether our livelihood supports clarity, integrity, and benefit for ourselves and others.

Please have a listen. I would love to hear what you think, and any questions or reflections that arise.

Warmly,
Susan

P.S. I’m covering the Noble Eightfold Path on my podcast. There’s an in-depth talk on Right Livelihood, Episode 46, that you can listen to here (if you want to).

The post Ancient Wisdom for Difficult Times: The Fifth Step of the Eightfold Path appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

In our talks about the Noble Eightfold Path, so far we have explored Right View (seeing things clearly), Right Intention (evaluating our motivations), and Right Speech (verifying the honesty of our words).

Now we look at what we actually do in Right Action.

Right Action is straightforward. Do not harm. Do not take what is not given and act with integrity. Stay clear enough to know what you are doing.

This is not about being “good.” It is about understanding our impact. Certain actions increase confusion and suffering. Others decrease them.

The practice is to notice. Before, during, after taking action.

In this short talk, we explore how to work with this step in real time — Not as an ideal, but as a daily discipline.

I would love to hear your questions or reflections.

With love,
Susan

The post Ancient Wisdom for Difficult Times: The Fourth Step of the Eightfold Path appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I hope you are well and staying steady in these very unsteady times. There is so much upheaval in our country and around the world. Strong views. Strong emotions. A lot of suffering.

Where to begin to find any type of steadiness? In Buddhist thought, there are 8 steps on the path to sanity.

We began a discussion with the first step, Right View, followed by step two, Right Intention.

Today’s talk is about the third step: Right Speech. This teaching is always relevant, but it is now more than ever.

I share the four forms of unskillful speech: abusive, untrue, divisive, and idle. And I offer six questions to ask before you speak.

None of this is easy, especially when we feel afraid or outraged. But with meditation, we begin to create a small gap between what we think and what we say. That gap can change everything.

I’m covering the Noble Eightfold Path on my podcast. There’s a full, in-depth talk on Right Speech, Episode 44, that you can listen to here (if you want to).

Thoughts? I would love to hear them.

Much love,
Susan

The post Ancient Wisdom for Difficult Times: The Third Step of the Eightfold Path appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

In this talk, we continue exploring the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path, focusing on the second step: Right Intention.

Right Intention grows out of Right View, which is the willingness to see clearly. When we practice seeing things clearly, the question becomes very practical: How do we live? How do we move through our lives without so much grasping?

Right Intention is not about being morally perfect or self-sacrificing. It is not about putting yourself last or pretending you do not matter. Instead, it is about widening the frame. Rather than acting from a narrow, potentially defensive place, we begin to ask, What would benefit me and also benefit others? When we include others in our intentions, something softens. Life feels less tight, less threatened, and paradoxically more empowered.

It is a very ordinary shift, but it changes everything.

There is a full podcast episode, The Noble Eightfold Path: Step Two: The Power of Intention (Ep. 43), that goes deeper into the meaning and practice of Right Intention if you would like to continue the exploration.

Warmly,
Susan

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This video series I’m sharing was created in the past, but I find that the Eightfold Path feels even more relevant now. When fear, division, and violence are shaping so much of our shared experience, it is understandable to feel helpless, to not know what to do next. The Eightfold Path, also called the fourth Noble Truth, offers practical steps to find our way and be of benefit in these troubling times.

The intention of this series is not to make anyone into a Buddhist, but to draw from this deep and practical wisdom that which can genuinely support our lives and our capacity to respond wisely to what we are facing.

If you would like a more thorough exploration of the first step on the Noble Eightfold Path, and how it applies to our lives today, I invite you to listen to episode 42 of my podcast, Buddhism Beyond Belief, “The Noble Eightfold Path: Step One: Seeing Clearly.”

My hope is that these teachings help us meet this moment with honesty, compassion, and courage, beginning with seeing clearly, or Right View.

Much love,
Susan

P.S. We’ve discussed the Four Noble Truths before, and the first three are worth revisiting (only if you want to). I made a podcast episode that focused on these truths here.

The post Ancient Wisdom for Difficult Times: The First Step of the Eightfold Path appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Love,
Susan

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Each morning, the Open Heart Project Sangha gathers to meditate and to tell the truth about what is happening. Recently, the group was larger than usual. That alone says something about the moment we’re in.

I don’t have a teaching that makes this time acceptable or less painful. There is no way to explain it away. What we can do is see the suffering clearly, without denial and without false comfort, and notice how we respond when things fall apart.

So where do we turn?

Drawing on Buddhist teachings, I spoke about the Human Realm as the place where we can wake up and respond with sanity. When I cannot defeat my enemies, I can still strengthen my friends. That shift restores energy and reminds us who we are.

Listen to today’s message and post in comments about how you’re feeling on your journey to creating sanity in these beyond difficult times.

With love,
Susan

A meditation practice is a way to find strength in a time of crisis.

Here’s a 10-minute guided meditation.

The post Strength in a Time of Crisis: What Helps? appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I’m linking to a few episodes here so you get the flavor. (Links are to the episodes on Apple podcasts, but you can find them wherever you listen to podcasts.) However, we’re not going to leave meditation practice out. Please click here for a recent guided 10-minute sit (audio only).

The Four Noble Truths and the Middle Way

Buddhist Cosmology: The Six Realms of Being

The Brokenhearted Meditator

If you have questions you’d like answered on the podcast, please send them in here. It would be great to know what’s on your mind and how I can help.

With love,
Susan

The post Podcast lovers! The Open Heart Project now has a podcast appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I’ve been reflecting on how easily meditation practice can fade into the background when life gets busy or uncertain. Not because it doesn’t matter, but because the very moments when we need it most are often the moments when it’s hardest to remember to turn toward it.

What I keep coming back to is this: practice doesn’t need to be perfect or heroic. It needs to be close. Something we can return to again and again—simple, human, and supportive. When practice feels accessible rather than demanding, it has a way of staying with us.In today’s reflection, I share a few thoughts on how to relate to practice in a way that’s sustainable over time—how to let it become a steady companion rather than another obligation.

I hope you’ll take a few minutes to listen and see what feels useful.

For many people, one of the most reliable supports is practicing in community. Sitting with others, hearing familiar teachings, and knowing there’s a shared commitment can make it much easier to keep showing up. If that sounds helpful, the Open Heart Project Sangha is an online meditation community where we practice together and support one another in bringing meditation into everyday life.

However you’re practicing right now, I’m glad you’re here. Please be kind with yourself, and keep returning in whatever way you can.

With love, 
Susan

The post Staying Close to What Supports You appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I received a thoughtful question about how to offer loving-kindness to people who feel toxic, while still honoring and protecting our own boundaries. Before today’s sit, I wanted to share a few reflections with you.

If you have a question you’d like me to explore in a future video, please feel free to send it along. I’ll always keep your name and any identifying details private.

With love,
Susan

The post Balancing Kindness and Self-Protection with Difficult People appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Happy new year! I hope you are well and finding sources of joy, big and/or small.

As one year turns into the next, it’s natural to wonder: how do I finally, finally make the changes I long for?! How do I move forward rather than continually taking one step forward, two steps back, and so on?

In the Buddhist view, deep, transformational learning happens by three steps. 

Please have a listen and let me know what you think. I always love hearing from you.

Love,
Susan

PS: This video references the book, Progressive Stages of Meditation on Emptiness by the radiant Khenpo Tsultrim Gyamtso Rinpoche. Please check it out.

The post How Real Change Actually Happens appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

What is true wisdom?

If you’re like most of us, you might imagine wisdom as something you accumulate, understand, or finally arrive at. But in the Buddhist tradition, wisdom, the sixth paramita, isn’t something you do or achieve. It’s something that unfolds when we practice staying with our lives as they actually are.

In the Building a Mindful New Year program, we’ll explore wisdom not as an abstract ideal, but as a lived, embodied practice. Wisdom arises when generosity, discipline, patience, exertion, and meditative absorption come together. It shows up as the ability to stay present through confusion, grief, relief, and joy, without needing experience to resolve or make sense.

This is not about fixing ourselves or transcending ordinary life. It’s about learning how to remain with it. Again and again.

On the final day of the program, we turn toward wisdom directly, including teachings on meditative absorption and how insight naturally emerges from sustained practice. Rather than offering answers, wisdom invites us into a deeper relationship with reality.

Crystal Gandrud will guide us deeper into the paramita of wisdom. Crystal is a writer, installation artist, and editor based in London. She is the co-founder of Lionheart Press, dedicated to publishing modern dharma that exists within an ancient lineage and has practiced Tantric Buddhism for over twenty years, teaching meditation for fifteen. Her work brings clarity, creativity, and grounded energy to the path of practice.

If you’re longing for a way to meet the new year with honesty, steadiness, and depth, this program is an invitation.

You can still jump into the Building a Mindful New Year program and gain access to tall of the talks. The program ends on December 31.

Learn more and register here.

It would be great to see you there.

Love,
Susan

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As we look ahead to Building a Mindful New Year, I’ve been reflecting on the qualities that genuinely support meaningful change. In recent weeks, we’ve explored generosity and discipline as part of the paramita teachings—capacities that help us relate to our lives with steadiness and clarity.

This week, our attention turns to the third paramita, patience. I’m delighted that Marisa Viola, whose work centers on resting, receptive forms of meditation, will be guiding us in this exploration during the program. If you don’t yet know her, Marisa teaches with extraordinary gentleness and depth. Her approach reminds us that true patience isn’t passive or resigned, but a spacious strength that allows us to meet our experience without forcing it to be different.

Patience in this tradition is not about gritting your teeth through difficulty. It is the recognition that discomfort, uncertainty, and resistance are impermanent, and that when we stay present, transformation becomes possible.

The video I’m sharing is from an earlier teaching, but it expresses exactly what I hope we can carry into the new year: a trust that our inner experience is always shifting, and that we can meet it with openness rather than struggle.

The post The Strength of Patience When Everything Feels Uncertain appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I’m writing to share something I believe deeply: the second of the transcendent actions — the paramita of discipline — isn’t a matter of rigid self-control. It is a source of clarity, spaciousness, and genuine joy. Practiced well, discipline becomes the structure that supports our freedom. It’s also a perfect preparation for the new year.

As we move toward this year’s Building a Mindful New Year program, I’m sharing this previously recorded discussion on the paramita of discipline — an introduction to what it is (and isn’t) and how it can steady the heart. This recording is meant to set the ground.

During the live program (which is free, all you have to do is sign up), Bridget Bailey will guide us deeper. She’ll expand on these teachings, offer practical methods for bringing discipline into everyday life, and — most importantly — answer your questions directly.

Bridget brings years of dedicated practice and a warm, grounded presence. She is a certified mindfulness meditation teacher and an authorized Buddhist dharma teacher whose work weaves together meditation, somatic healing, and compassionate inquiry. Her teachings help us meet life with steadiness, tenderness, and clear intention. You can learn more about her here.

If you find that good intentions tend to dissolve under stress, or if you long to begin the new year with more purpose and less pressure, I believe this exploration of discipline — first through the recording, then with Bridget’s live teaching — will be a meaningful support.

As always, I send you my warmth, encouragement, and gratitude for walking the path with me.

With love,
Susan

The post Discipline: The Paramita of Steadiness and Joy appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

This week, we’re revisiting the first of the six paramitas — generosity. I originally recorded this teaching some time ago, but it feels especially relevant now, as we move toward the end of the year. Generosity is not only about giving material things; it’s about offering our attention, our patience, and our willingness to show up exactly as we are. It’s a practice of opening the heart, even when it’s hard.

We’re also relaunching this entire series on the paramitas in preparation for our annual Building a Mindful New Year program, running December 26–31. Each day, a different Buddhist teacher will discuss one paramita, offering teachings and practices to help you enter 2026 with clarity, steadiness, and genuine warmth. Think of it as a spacious, supportive bridge from one year into the next.

If you feel called to deepen your practice or simply want to end the year with more intention, I’d love for you to join us. This program is completely free, all you need to do is sign up. You can come to all the sessions or just the ones that speak to you; everything will be recorded.

With love,
Susan

The post Preparing for 2026: Starting with Generosity appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I hope you are well and finding sources of joy, big, small, in-between.

In this week’s video, I share some thoughts about what may be the most important spiritual teaching for our time. I’m pretty sure I’m not exaggerating. Have a listen and see what you think!

Love,
Susan

The post Is this the most important Buddhist teaching for our time? appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I thought it might be useful to revisit some of the basics about our meditation practice. However, these basics are not basic at all. They point out the path to wisdom, insight, and creative inspiration. The only thing we have to do is let go of ambition… Not easy! But doable! Please have a listen to learn more.

Love,
Susan

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I hope this finds you well, or at least finding your way.

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I hope to see you in January 2026 for training. All the details are here.

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This is the second video in a series I created a few years back. You can (but you don’t have to) check out what we talked about last week here. I’ve felt the wisdom of this series more deeply lately. In hard times, the invitation in this talk is always relevant. And so that’s why I’m bringing it to you again now.

In this recording, I guide a simple practice: allow your thoughts to arise without resisting or chasing them. Most will pass on their own. But if you notice that you’ve become swallowed by thought — unaware of your breath — simply observe, gently label it “thinking,” then ease back into noticing your breath. No pressure, no urgency. Just a quiet return.

This is how we cultivate sanity when it feels like the world has lost its mind. Notice. Let go. Come back. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Thank you for showing up with me in this sacred space of remembering. I’ll see you next week.

Warmly,
Susan

The post For When Your Mind Wanders (It Will and It’s Part of the Practice) appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

PS: Here’s the series on painful emotions:

Anger
Attachment
Shame
Jealousy
Anxiety
Distrust
Hatred
Despair

The post When life gets hard, what if that’s where the magic begins? appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I’m truly grateful you took time from your life, your day, your world to explore something so vital—what it means to work with your own mind in the midst of all that’s happening around (and within) us.

Whether you were able to attend live or are watching the recording now, please know that your presence matters. It matters to this community, and it matters to the world, because when we train in sanity, presence, and kindness—we ripple that outward.

This session was a deep dive into what meditation really offers us: not as a quick fix or stress-reduction tactic, but as a way of living (and even dying) with wakefulness, compassion, and power.

I hope you find the recording meaningful, and that it encourages you to keep walking this path—with gentleness, courage, and curiosity.

With gratitude,
Susan

PS: To go deeper, sign up for my upcoming fall course, Inexplicable Magic.

The post Info Session Recording: Inexplicable Magic, a 4-week course appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Yes, your meditation teacher got high. A LONG TIME AGO! But it was awesome and provided my first true spiritual insight. 

Don’t do what I did!! Drugs are not necessary but I was a youngster and it happened and so I’m sharing this crazy story with you. Don’t do what I did!

At the end, I mention that our next Meditation Teacher Training is coming up in January in case you want to take it. Which would be awesome. I haven’t taught it in two years and don’t know when I will again, so please join if you can.

Please have a listen and let me know what you think. I always love hearing from you.

Love,
Susan

PS: Don’t do what I did!!

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I hope you are well and finding sources of joy, big and/or small.

Many thanks for the kind comments you made on my video last week in which I told you a personal story about how I began on the spiritual journey. This week continues on a personal note. I share with you the story of how I became a meditation teacher, not something I ever thought I would do.

At the end, I mention that our next Meditation Teacher Training is coming up in January in case you want to take it. Which would be awesome. I haven’t taught it in two years and don’t know when I will again, so please join if you can!

Please have a listen and let me know what you think. I always love hearing from you.

Love,
Susan

The post Another personal story! How I became a meditation teacher (and how you can, too) appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Did you know I’ve been sending these free meditation emails for more than TEN YEARS?! I hope to continue to do so for another ten. In the meantime, I thought it might be a good idea to let you in on a bit more about my own spiritual journey and practice.

Please have a listen and let me know what you think. I always love hearing from you.

Love,
Susan

The post A personal story about my spiritual journey appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

In other news, I cry during this talk! Just saying!

Please have a listen and let me know what you think. I always love hearing from you.

Love,
Susan

The post Four reminders that restore sanity appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I hope you are well during this difficult time. Before our meditation this week, I offer some thoughts on a Buddhist teaching that I have found helpful in knowing how to direct my energy and strength to create more sanity and decency in the world—not so easy in this particular moment. 

Please have a listen and let me know what you think. I always love hearing from you.

Love,
Susan

PS: On a much more mundane note!! In the video, I mention that we now have beautiful Open Heart Project t-shirts for your consideration. And a tote bag. Please head over to our shop to check them out. You can represent and support at the same time. xoxo

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Enjoy!

Thoughts? I always love to hear from you. Please comment as you wish. Many thanks.

Love,
Susan

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You can learn more about and sign up for the retreat I’m teaching at Kripalu here.

I hope to see you there.

Love,
Susan

The post Info Session Recording: Inexplicable Magic – An in-person retreat at Kripalu appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I’m grateful to everyone who registered for this info session on the Sunday Sanity Summit. I hope the real magic of this practice is of benefit to you.

If your heart has been nudging you toward joining us for the Sunday Sanity Summit, please do! It would be great to see you there.

We’ll gather on Zoom from 3:00–4:00 PM ET for the four Sundays starting July 6, to reflect, reconnect, and begin the week from a place of clarity and strength.

No pressure to be insightful. No need to prepare. Just bring yourself, as you are.

Here’s what our hour together will include:

• 10 minutes of guided meditation
• Reflective journaling with gentle prompts
• Small breakout groups for optional sharing
• A closing circle + dedication of merit

This is a space for remembering that you’re not alone and reorienting your mind and heart for the week to come.

Register here

Investment: Pay What You Can
Suggested payment: $80
Please offer what makes sense for you. Whether it is $1 or $1 zillion dollars, your contribution will support the Open Heart Project to grow and thrive. Thanking you in advance.

With love and respect,
Susan

P.S. You don’t have to attend every week. Come when you can.

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Before today’s sit, I share a few thoughts about the first paramita (transcendent action) which is generosity. The remaining transcendent actions–discipline, patience, exertion, meditative absorption, and wisdom–would not be possible without some sense of your own richness and indestructible kindness. But when times are difficult (aka now), these qualities seem to move away from us. It does not have to be this way. Please have a listen and see what you think.

Stay strong! Stay beautiful!

With love,
Susan

The post When it’s hard to be generous to others… appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I recently read an article about a new meditation app that purports to offer meditation instruction via AI generated content meant to teach Dzogchen and Mahamudra. My friends, I literally could not sleep that night. I was so upset. Dzogchen and Mahamudra are among the highest teachings in all of Buddhism. They are never taught without arduous preparation and a strong relationship with a true teacher. Those most qualified to teach it actually never talk about it. This is just one more example of how our meditation practice keeps getting pulled out of the realm of the sacred and into a world of vast materialism. When it is, the magic of the practice drains away.

As I was taught, there are three steps we can take to keep the magic intact.. They are extremely simple. No one has to “be a Buddhist” to utilize them.

We talked about the first step, make offerings two weeks ago. Last week, we discussed the second step, request blessings and today we reach the third step, to dedicate the merit.

What do you think? I always love to hear from you.

With love,
Susan

The post How to make (real) magic with your meditation practice: Part 3 appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Last week, I mentioned that there were three steps we could take to keep our practice firmly rooted in the realm of the spiritual–the mysterious, the sacred, the deeply personal–rather than the realm of self-help which can turn quite aggressive. Our practice is so powerful, but the real scope is glimpsed only when we can relax our self-criticism (which self-help is built on), even to some small degree.

The first step, as mentioned, was to make offerings. Today we look at the second step which is to request blessings. From whom or what? That is up to you. The more personal, the better. This is about your lineage. Your ancestors. Your longings. There are beings who have come before who embody what you now seek. To request their blessings (which is actually a very traditional thing to do) is to deepen your connection to them and the magic of true transformation.

Don’t take my word for this! Or anything! Please have a listen to this talk and then make up your own mind. That is of utmost importance.

Thoughts? I always love to hear them.

With love,
Susan

The post How to make (real) magic with your meditation practice: Part 2 appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

A long time ago, I was talking to my own meditation teacher (of now more than 30 years) about how to create an environment that invites the magic of transformation. Like most meditation teachers, I want to help you go beyond whatever your current challenges may be. To do so, you have to see something you have been unable to glimpse thus far. Something new has to appear. Like I said, magic.

He said, “oh, it’s simple. All you have to do is make offerings, request blessings, and dedicate the merit.”

These steps actually create magic. Not woo-woo wizard hat magic, but what some Buddhists call “ordinary magic.” When I begin my meditation by making offerings (as described in the video), attempts to use my practice for self-improvement fall away. Instead, I enter into some kind of mysterious dialog with wisdom greater than my own. My practice becomes, not about trying to “fix” myself, but a wish to relate more deeply to the brilliance of what inspires me. I relax. I feel more spacious about who I am and what my life is about. I see a different reality. Like I said, magic.

Three simple steps. Today I share some thoughts about the first one, making offerings. We’ll cover the other two in subsequent videos.

Thoughts? I always love to hear them.

With love,
Susan

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We’ve discussed two of the three aspects of the awakened mind—compassion and wisdom. Today I’d like to offer just a few thoughts on the third quality—power.

When we think about the quality of power, I’m sure many things come to mind. Some are positive—the certainty of a strong ruler or the beneficence of a saint. Some are not so positive—the authoritarianism of, say, teachers or bosses, or those who have influence over us due to wealth, beauty, or position.

However the Buddhist view of power has nothing to do with becoming a ruler or a saint (not that there is anything wrong with that), nor is it about authority, influence, or control. The Buddhist definition has more to do with the ability to see clearly.

This superpower is the quality of precision. The very definition of power here is the ability to cut through delusion and see clearly. When you are around someone who can do this, you can feel their power. It doesn’t come from yelling or storming about or tripping out on you in some way. It comes from their ability to know themselves, turn toward you, look into your eyes, and see you. The magnetizing property of clear seeing cannot be overstated. This is the power we seek, are drawn to, and that leaves us feeling naked and vulnerable on one hand, and completely, finally at home on the other.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen imagery of so-called “wrathful deities” in Buddhist iconography. These are the beings with multiple heads, fangs, wrapped in animal skins, perhaps clutching skulls or gyrating within a circle of flames. They are quite fierce and ready to fight. Their enemy? Ignorance. When you are being ignorant, they attack. You. When ignorance attempts to attack your mindfulness-awareness, this energy can be counted upon to attack on your behalf.

Power comes from synchronizing mind and body, over and over, from moment to moment. With such an effort the three forms of ignorance: passion, aggression, and delusion have no way to gain hold. And when you are free of these three poisons, there is nothing left but power.

Know that as we practice meditation, as we continuously place attention breath and synchronize our mind and body, we are also making a connection with the source of pure power and the tremendous well of energy that stokes it.

Where have you witnessed true power in your own life?

Love,
Susan

PS: Here’s a 10 minute meditation so we can practice together today:

The post 3 Qualities of Awakening, Part 3: Power appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

When it comes to what it really means to be wise, it’s easy to posit all sorts of definitions from really, really smart to deeply insightful to maybe simply being old and thus knowledgeable from experience.

Buddhism certainly has many definitions of wisdom and one of them is this: the ability to see beyond concept to the way things really are. Moment by moment, perception by perception, we let go of our judgments, opinions, and projections—which seems impossible, I know. Still, we have each had moments where we have been able to grasp the clear, empty, luminous, still, vast space that lies beyond our conventional minds.

One such glimpse came to me after I first moved to Manhattan some years ago. I moved to NYC for a job and found a totally cute and very tiny apartment near Union Square. I loved my job, loved, loved, loved NYC, and my apartment felt snug and safe. One problem: I couldn’t sleep. Every time I lay down, I tuned into the constant buzz that is almost inescapable in Manhattan: the hum of traffic, the blare of sirens, the beep-beep-beep of trash trucks, and on and on. I tossed. I turned. I wondered how anyone could possibly sleep through this. Friends assured me that you get used to it, but after 7 or 8 nearly sleepless nights, I was pretty doubtful.

One night, totally exhausted, I lay in bed, restless and teary. As anyone with insomnia knows, sleep doesn’t come from pleading and stressing out. I tried to lie still. Instead of attempting to block out the sound, I just gave up and let it wash over me. In that moment, I noticed that there was something going on besides noise and that was silence. Underlying the noise was an unchanging bed of silence. I trained my ear on the silence rather than the noise—and fell asleep.

Now, I don’t know much about absolute wisdom, but my hunch is that it has something to do with tuning into the space and silence around your thoughts and concepts rather than refining your thoughts and concepts.

Wisdom and compassion are inseparable. They are actually twin manifestations of the same thing. On a relative level, this means that wisdom is not wisdom when compassion is not also present (it is simply intellect) and compassion is not compassion when wisdom is not also present (it is some kind of foolishness). On an absolute level, the union of wisdom and compassion is nothing more or less than our true nature, the silence that gives rise to all sound and the space that exists between all thought.

Our meditation practice is the way we cultivate a connection to this profound wisdom. As we sit, we practice letting go, over and over, thought by thought. When we space out, something comes from somewhere, completely fresh and utterly spontaneous, to say, “hey, come back.”

We can trust our practice, implicitly and completely. Wisdom is as omnipresent as space itself. To see it, all we have to do is relax.

How do you experience the way compassion and wisdom are intertwined in your own life?

Warmly,
Susan

PS: As an indication of how much I love Manjushri, allow me to share with you my badass tattoo which is Manjushri’s seed syllable, “DHIH”:

PPS: Here’s a 10 minute meditation so we can practice together today:

The post 3 Qualities of Awakening, Part 2: Wisdom appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

According to Buddhist thought, the awakened mind has three qualities.

Although I’ve said many times that having goals for your practice is a bad idea, I’m now going to suggest that there actually are goals and they are to realize these three qualities. However, the path is not accomplished by conventional means. Interestingly, these qualities arise spontaneously when we let go of our other agendas, no matter how well-thought out.

Meditation is, of course, the path.

The first of the three aspects of the enlightened mind is compassion.

Compassion is often confused with soft-heartedness. We might think that compassionate people are super sweet and always feel sorry for you. However, there is nothing sappy or weak about true compassion.

Compassion is an expression of the greatest strength. You are so confident that you can allow the sorrows of other people to touch you.

It is a gesture of bravery. You are so fearless that you can extend yourself to others.

It is an act of joy. You are able to connect, heart to heart, and, as far as I can tell, there is no other source of joy.

Some people might call this vulnerability, and it is. But here, vulnerability is synonymous with pure warriorship.

At the same time, it is extremely, heart-breakingly ordinary. We have all had the experience of compassion at some point in our lives.

I want to share a story from my book, “How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life.” It remains for me a visceral experience of compassion.

When I was a little girl, my father taught me how to fly a kite. We were on the beach in Atlantic City and I was running up and down with my kite. I was so happy—the connection with the sky, the love of my father, the feeling of mastery. At one point, though, the kite got away from me and blew out to sea, higher and higher. I ran after it as hard as I could. I chased it until it was completely invisible. I was heartbroken, devastated. If you’ve ever chased anything that moves away from you on the wind and into another sphere (and I’m sure you have), then you know how shocked and hopeless I was. I remember the loss until this day.

One other person also remembered it to the end of his life—my father. Many, many years later, somehow the day of the lost kite came up and he called it one of those moments in his life that pierced his heart the most. He never, ever forgot the look on my face. He watched the kite fly out of sight, too. He longed to get it back, too. He would have done anything, anything to get it back for me. My sorrow was his. My loss was his.

My father didn’t have to stop and think, “Oh, my little girl has lost something that brought her happiness. I feel sad for her.” He didn’t have to do any math, like, lost kite + no hope = unhappy child, thus: I feel sad. There was no gap between my feelings and his, my experience and his, my loss and his. They were the same.  This is what compassion is. It is spontaneous. It arises as love and pain, mixed together, exactly 50-50.

If you have children, I’m sure you already know about this and, on behalf of all daughters and sons, I thank you. Know that this is the state of mind our meditation practice is urging us toward and which the great beings of this world, the meditation masters, saints, yogis, and enlightened ones feel for beings, on the spot, without thought.

How, you might ask, do they not fall apart completely? It is so terrifying to be this open and this vulnerable. Well, yes and no. The opposite is actually the terrifying option and our meditation practice, fortunately, thankfully, teaches not only how to open our hearts, but how to stabilize within the open state so that every time we are touched, we are not also knocked down. Instead, we are strengthened in our resolve and ability to be even stronger in our vulnerability.

This is true strength—the ability to remain soft and open under all circumstances, not just in those that are made to order.

I’d love to hear your stories of true strength—what comes to mind when you imagine a time you witnessed or exhibited strength?

Love,

Susan

PS: Here’s a 10 minute meditation so we can practice together today:

The post 3 Qualities of Awakening, Part 1: Compassion appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Whether you have a passing interest or something more decisive, you are warmly invited to listen to the talk and find out for yourself how you feel about taking refuge. In the video, I talk about what happens during the ceremony, how to know if the timing is right for you, and what the next steps might be. 

Much love, 
Susan

The post What does it mean to take the refuge vow? appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I have three basic suggestions for how Buddhist wisdom can help with heartbreak. Two weeks ago, we talked about the first step which involves figuring out how to work with your racing or clouded mind. Last week, I made suggestions for working with the overwhelming energy of the heart. This week, I share some thoughts about how heartbreak can introduce us to a deeper way of viewing life that leads to more vitality and a greater capacity to love.

Thoughts? I love to hear from you!

With love,
Susan

The post Heartbreak as Spiritual Practice (Part 3) appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I have three basic suggestions for how Buddhist wisdom can help with heartbreak. Last week we talked about the first step which involves figuring out how to work with your racing or clouded mind. This week, I make suggestions for working with the overwhelming energy of the heart which, when shattered or upset, overflows with heat and intensity. It turns out that these qualities, while in no way pleasant, have great utility for meeting your own pain and the pain of others with love.

I hope you will find this of benefit. Please let me know what you think–it is always so valuable to hear from you.

With love,
Susan

The post Heartbreak as Spiritual Practice: Part 2 appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Many years ago, I wrote a book called The Wisdom of a Broken Heart about how Buddhist wisdom helped me with my own broken heart. I get emails and messages about the impact of this book more than anything I have ever written. I am gratified to know it is useful. (Last year, I updated the audiobook version because I own those rights. I wanted to update the book with some of the things I’ve learned over the last decade and also include some meditations. You can find it here if you’re interested.)

I have three basic suggestions for how Buddhist wisdom can help with heartbreak. Of course, no one has to be a Buddhist to derive benefit from them. In this video, I share some thoughts about the first suggestion (the subsequent videos over the next couple of weeks will contain reflections on the other two).

I hope you will find this of benefit. Please let me know what you think—it is always so valuable to hear from you.

With love,
Susan

PS For more on the power and possibility of allowing sadness please have a look at my recent Substack article, “Sadness is a Super Power“. Please subscribe, share…as you wish!

The post Heartbreak as Spiritual Practice appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

To learn more about the course and apply, visit here.

I hope to see you there.

With love,
Susan

The post Inexplicable Magic, an info session on April 15 appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

When I encounter the sorrows of this world, I most often take one of three responses, none of which are very useful. 

One, I collapse into depression and anxiety. UNHELPFUL. But sometimes necessary. 

Two, I try to shut it all out and go about my business like, “well, what can I do about all this, I’m just one person and plus I’ve got problems of my own.” TRUE. But also complete bullshit.

Three, and perhaps most dangerous, I allow myself to be filled with rage and then minimize all ordinary concerns (my own as well as yours) as juvenile, naive, not worthy of concern and the only thing that matters is how hard I am fighting the power. On some days, this is true. But it often compels me to divide the world into two very dangerous categories. The first one is called “us” and the second one is called “them.”  Such divisions are behind all forms of violence, whether personal, societal, or planetary. Think about it.

How can I respond effectively? How can I avoid becoming hopeless, hopelessly self-centered, or, worse, adding to the aggression that created the problems of racism, injustice, intolerance, and climate calamity in the first place?

According to Vajrayana Buddhism, there are four enlightened actions we can take to create true transformation. They are usually best done in order but sometimes they seem to all happen simultaneously.

These four actions (also called the Four Karmas) are:

Pacify.

Enrich.

Magnetize. 

Destroy (or Let Go, if you prefer).

Today, let’s focus on the first karma, to pacify. 

To begin with, pacifying has nothing to do with calming down, reframing problems as so-called opportunities (vomit), or even trying to find a way to settle your heart by arriving at a particular conclusion, whether hopeful or hopeless. (Sometimes thinking “WE’RE SCREWED” is the only calming thought. For some strange reason.)

Pacifying begins with opening. Feeling. Sensing. Allowing. Seeing clearly. We all have problems (big and small) that we’d rather avoid. Tremendous energy goes into such avoidances. I speak from personal experience. The more I turn away from my heart, the more exhausted I become. The less energy I have for good work. The more hopeless I feel. However, when I take even the smallest internal step to acknowledge the truth of how I feel, while the first moments may be weighty and terrifying, almost immediately they are followed by a return of energy. I am in truth. Integrity. Alignment. Whatever crazy word you prefer. Shit gets real and real is always preferable. 

So, the first step is to soften and allow circumstance to touch us in a way that provokes a genuine, deeply felt response. But, you may be thinking, this is dangerous. You will see the terror of this world, there is no question. It is correct to feel afraid.

So why risk it?

Because an open heart also means this:

You can be touched and therefore see clearly.

You are receptive to others and can help them.

You are able to help from the energy of your heart, not your mind/theories/best practices. 

For everyone, everyone, it is the act of helping that creates a meaningful life. Everything else is fleeting, only being of service creates meaning. That’s how it works. I have no idea why.

But before we get all martyr-y, let’s look at what “helping” actually is. It sounds like it is committing to a life of sacrifice and drudgery. It isn’t. It’s the opposite. Committing to a life of service is committing to a life of joy, wakefulness, and love.

This looks different for everyone. We each have our unique mission of helpfulness. There is something that only you can do for this world. Do you know what it is?

It may look like showing up during disasters with money, food or clothing.

It may look like being the one person in your family or community that everyone can turn to for advice, solace, or support.

It may look like caring for all the animals in this world—or even just one.

It may be working to fight climate change in the world and/or your own backyard.

It may look like becoming a parent, priest, teacher, social worker, therapist, body worker, or any other kind of being who connects directly with individuals to make their lives happier or support them to overcome adversity.

It may look like devotion to anything you take on as an art form—be it painting, writing, gardening, knitting, cooking, playing music, cutting hair, or any other work that depends on opening to inspiration and being guided by it. Your art form may be leading an organization, heading a department, practicing law or waitressing or accounting. It’s all in the way you open to it.

It may look like practicing the art of any science to the depth of your capacity, whether it’s medicine, astronomy, software development, engineering, architecture, and so on and so on.

And so on.

The amazing thing is this: What you do that turns out to be most helpful for others is also your unique gift and thus most helpful to you as well. What you do to help is synonymous with discovering your gift and thus it is your path. And, as we know, whether it’s been a good or a bad day, when you’re on your path, you are joyful. Engaged. Authentic. Open.

So, be yourself. Offer what you already possess as deeply as you can and that will turn out to be the best possible thing for this world. And then keep doing it. Do it more. You could start right now. You could make a plan every single day for how you will offer your gift. Big ways. Small ways. Just always is the key.

For now, ask yourself: What opens my heart? Pay attention throughout your day to what touches you and what shuts you down. What does it feel like or how do your thoughts change when your heart is open? When it slams shut? Don’t try to change anything at first…just notice. You will figure it out. And remember: If you want to change the world, open your heart. That is why this is called “The Open Heart Project”, by the way. It has basically nothing to do with new age bullshit or being positive (double vomit). It is actually the path of warriorship and it begins with pacifying (aka opening). With this as a start, we can move on to enrich (add something of value), magnetize (draw advantageous circumstances), and, my personal favorite, destroy (let go, conclude, move on to what is more powerful).

And in the meantime, contemplate the 7 Signs of Open Heartedness (made up by me).

1. The sorrow of other people touches you. So does their joy, equally.
2. Inspiration knows how to find you and you are not a stranger to enthusiasm.
3. You are polite to everyone yet are not a doormat.
4. You know yourself without shame (“I suck”) or aggression (“I deserve to feel this”).
5. You see the sadness. You cry a lot.
6. You see the humor. You laugh a lot. You understand the importance of balance and can actually see what is funny, ridiculous–most especially about yourself. 
7. You have figured out the difference between taking care of people vs caring about people. (This is a big one, y’all.) (Actually, they’re all big.)

Feel free to add to this list (and, if you do, share your thoughts with me).

And please note: The support for opening your heart is the practice of meditation. It teaches us to slow down. Open. Receive. See beyond preconceptions. Feel. Don’t take my word for that. Or anything. Try it for yourself and make your own discoveries. Here is more on the 4 karmas and a 10-minute sit for you to use right now. 

Audio only version is here
Meditation begins at 7:40

For more on the Four Karmas, please listen to this short talk from Her Eminence, Mindrolling Jetsün Khandro Rinpoche.

PS: Once, long ago, I was going to attend a talk Khandro Rinpoche was giving but as I sat waiting for it to begin, I realized I was getting a terrible migraine and would have to leave, regrettably. I walked down a narrow staircase that I knew led to the outside. Just as I was walking down, she was walking up. She locked eyes with me for the merest moment and it was strangely one of the most terrifying and joyful experiences I’ve ever had. It was the first time I experienced what, I think, it is like to be in the presence of someone who is actually awake. Terrifying Joyful. (I guess I just heard her talk, I thought to myself.)

Please remember: to change the world, open your heart.

“The times are urgent; let us slow down…Slowing down is losing our way—not a human capacity or human capability. It is the invitations that are now in the world-at-large, inviting us to listen deeply, to be keen, to be fresh, to be quick with our heels, to follow the sights and sounds and smells of the world.” –Bayo Akomolafe

I hope this is of benefit to you.

Love,
Susan

The post How to take enlightened action in a troubled world (4 ways to respond to everything) appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Before today’s sit, I share some thoughts about creating a shrine and why they are important. I also explain a bit about what is on mine and offer a few suggestions for creating your own, should you wish to.

Stay strong! Stay beautiful!

With love, 
Susan

The post How and why to have a meditation shrine appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

This was also posted on my new substack newsletter, Buddhism Beyond Belief. I like substack so far! It’s fun! A whole world! I mean, you never know what it will become, but so it seems now. Also, it’s free and I’ve been posting my podcast episodes there. I also have a new podcast. WHO KNEW. I hope you enjoy these new ways of staying in touch.

In my last post, I mentioned two teachings from my Buddhist training that were helping me during this time of vast injustice, insane gaslighting, and sick power grabs. Since I only mentioned one of them (because I wrote more than expected and didn’t want to overstay my welcome), I’m going to pick up the thread here with suggestion number 2.

Note: neither help me feel better about what is going on (impossible!!) but they have supported me to remain connected to my inner strength, you, and this world where I so long to be of benefit.

The first, the Four Reminders (or Four Thoughts that Turn the Mind to the Dharma), help by showing me (in their own crazy way) how to fan the flames of appreciation/awe, respect, thoughtfulness, and inspiration when such things can seem so far off. You can read more about them here.

Note 2: zero of the four reminders are about bypassing, transcending, or seeing challenges as opportunities or any other such BS. You could say they are about doing the opposite: leaning deeply in, staying here, and the willingness to feel as a path to skillful action. As I’ve been trained, these are hallmarks of a good (though not easy) spiritual journey, one that is as fierce as it is gentle.

Now onto the second thing, an aspect of Buddhist cosmology called The Six Realms of samsara.

There are those who say these are actual places where you could end up in a future life or visit in dreams or, well, probably other ways, but I don’t know what they are. In all cases, each realm holds a different kind of samsaric suffering and while some sound better than others (because they are), you will continue to wander through them (“samsara” means wander) until you break the wheel of death and rebirth, aka become enlightened. (How?! Another post, perhaps. First I have to figure it out. You may have to wait awhile.)

You could also look at the realms as six psychological or spiritual landscapes, each with its own possibilities and perils. When you read the descriptions below, you’ll see what I mean.

Whether or not these places are “real,” we visit them regularly. Sometimes I visit each in a single day.

THE GOD REALM

The god realm is a place where everything goes perfectly without obstacles and whatever you wish for, you immediately have. You can fly. You’re psychic. You’re gorgeous. That may sound great but there is a downside: a long, long lifespan culminating in an extended and painful death with very little hope of enlightenment. You’re going to have to come back and try again. There is not enough suffering to compel one to practice and study the dharma so one is still bound to the cycles of samsara. There is no opportunity to learn how to care for others because everyone is just dandy. True wisdom and compassion are simply not needed.

In each realm the Buddha takes a different form, always trying to do something helpful. In the god realm, all the Buddha can do is hang out and play a musical instrument. There is almost no point in trying to teach because there is no interest.

If you’ve ever had a day (or a moment) in your life when everything fell into place effortlessly, this can give some idea of what it feels like to enter the god realm. Celebrity and influencer culture is really good at pretending to depict the god realm and suggesting outfits, face creams, day planners, gut biome solutions, and financial strategies to help you get there.

It seems that some people really do live there! At least by outward appearances. They’re rich, beautiful, accomplished, beloved. There actually are such people.

THE JEALOUS GOD REALM

This realm is inhabited by beings who are also quite powerful and well-resourced but whatever they have is NOT ENOUGH. They are angry at being only jealous gods, not full gods and are obsessed with more power, more wealth, and more influence, all of which they already have in endless supply. Still, they do not believe that they have their fair share and so wage war to get what the other jealous gods have. The warfare never ends because there is never a moment deemed a win. There is always another battle to wage.

Here too there is almost no likelihood of becoming liberated from samsara because all the focus is on filling one’s own coffers in order to conquer and own samsara instead.

Hmmm. Can we think of any people who fit this description?! More on that below.

THE HUMAN REALM

This is where we, you and I, actually reside. This is the lucky realm, y’all. It is the only one with a workable ratio of suffering:ease. Although we certainly experience devastation and rage and extraordinary loss here in the human realm, we also have what is necessary to study the dharma; the basics: a place to live, food to eat, and some sense of support. We are not fighting every single day for survival, although some days (weeks, months, years) it may feel and be that way. Still, we have the right ratio, or at least experience times where this is true. Too much pain, and we can’t focus on our journey. Too much ease, and we feel no inspiration to do so. Out of all the realms, it is this combination that gives us the best chance to pass through the door of complete liberation—and thus be able to help others to do so as well.

In this realm, the Buddha appeared as a fellow human and gave teachings directly.

THE ANIMAL REALM

There is a beautiful, long-haired, grown-up stray black cat who lives in my neighborhood and often visits my backyard, possibly because I leave food and water for them (not sure of preferred pronouns). I adore this cat. I long to pet this cat. I can tell that this cat wants to be loved but has no idea how that even happens. He gives me long looks and rubs against the door frame but runs off when I get too close. I desperately wish he could come into the human realm where there would be so many snacks, so much petting, and a choice of cozy places to sleep safely. (It makes me cry each time I feel that I just cannot accomplish this.) When he eats the food I put out, he takes a bite, looks frantically around, takes another bite or two, looks frantically around, etc, etc, repeat, repeat. Of course. In this world, vigilance is the mechanism of survival.

The animal realm is a place of fear and incessant watchfulness. Good days are when you can just space out and stare into space. So there is only being afraid and not being afraid. With so few options, there is no vision or capacity to understand the what, where, why, how of reality.

I have no doubt that we all know what this realm feels like. I think I was there several times this morning.

THE HUNGRY GHOST REALM

This realm is said to be inhabited by beings with teeny-tiny mouths, narrow necks, and enormous bellies which can never, ever be filled because the means of entry are just not up to the job. There is perpetual hunger and dissatisfaction. If you’ve ever felt that no matter how much you eat, how much love you receive, how many likes your posts get, or how much money you earn, you will never be satiated, then you know what it feels like to be a hungry ghost.

THE HELL REALM

This is the place of only suffering, nothing else. We taste the hell realm (or realms, because this cosmology depicts a variety of hells) when our hearts are shattered, great disasters occur, or we cannot escape our own rage.

NOW WHAT?

Okay, what does this all have to do with the rage and anxiety so many of us feel in the face of the Trumpist takeover? Why is it so hard to gain any sense of traction in the fight against hatred, stupidity, patriarchy-related entitlement, short-sightedness, self-righteousness, maniacal institution smashing, and obvious cruelty? I mean, it seems clear that these are the forces at work.

The realms do not necessarily explain how to quell our fear and outrage (both of which are quite well-placed) but they do offer some insight into the forces at work and what we might do to counterbalance. Note 3: It’s a dharma marathon, not a dharma sprint.

It seems we are witnessing a battle of jealous gods. The only thing that matters is so-called “winning.” Every idea, every day, every moment is a battle, a win or a loss, simply another chance to wage war through weapons of domination, aggression, and destruction. Each jealous god will insist on your fealty.

My friends. Let us not fall for choosing sides between them. They do not care about you or me. Instead, let us choose ourselves and each other. (Cue a jealous god who will tell you how naive and stupid this is. It is not.)

Note 4: The red flag that we’ve fallen into the delusion of the jealous gods’ offered choices should be when we feel that we know something that others do not; that our side is the right one and everyone else is wrong, or that we are simply victims without recourse; and, of course, in any circumstance where murder and mayhem seem justifiable. Please do not enter this realm.

We cannot fight jealous gods with human realm weapons. Such weapons include legislation, marches, activism, academia, common sense, relationship skills, superior verbal prowess, and logic. These may be extremely valuable, but they don’t play in the jealous god realm.

So now what? How do we refrain from entering? How do we relate to the vast sorrows? Through mindfulness-awareness. Through clear-seeing. Turning within and feeling into the extraordinary heartbreak that arises from acknowledging the human condition. Through choosing wakefulness again and again by becoming as consistent as possible in our meditation practice. This opening to ourselves and others helps us remain human and, right now, to remain human—open hearted, clear headed, grief stricken, music loving, loving-loving, powerful, laughing, sobbing, dreaming; committed to this world and each other—is of tremendous importance.

This is a view no jealous god would ever espouse and when we are tempted to pick up their weapons (propaganda, warfare, rage, cornering influence), we can be dissuaded and thus stay focused on deeper values. They cannot.

Household by household, neighborhood by neighborhood, conversation by conversation, we can strengthen the human realm. We can work with our hearts and minds, not at the expense of the suffering that is being caused right now but to hold ourselves steady to fight the good fight with power and discernment, to be of benefit, and to share our sanity with others.

You may guess what I’m going to say next because it’s basically my favorite thing to say: don’t take my word for this. Or anything. Think about it yourself and see what you discover. The teachings only come to life when you bring them into your unique inner world and weigh them against your actual experience. You must draw your own conclusions.

During more conventional times, I would say that simply having a steady (or steady-ish) meditation practice is enough. It will rouse the more common results of meditation: stress-reduction, becoming more patient, less easily triggered, nicer, and so on. These are great things. But these are not conventional times and more is needed–more magic, more auspicious coincidence, more depth, more mystery, more life force, and less conventionality: the esoteric fruits of a deepening practice.

It is not just about sitting on the cushion for 5 or 10 or 45 minutes and then going into your life. Please do sit for 5 or 10 or 45 minutes; it will enrich your life. But also begin to dismantle any barriers between what you do on the cushion and what you do everywhere else. Bring the mind of meditation with you. We are seeking to discover all the ways in which our homes, relationships, jobs, money, and art are practice; everything from the way we keep house to the way we express our love to each other. In this way, we focus, not only on defeating enemies but on strengthening allies.

Living this way is called the path of the householder. My intention with these writings and the Open Heart Project altogether is to explore this path further with you as I discover it myself.

Love you, Susan

PS Please consider joining the Open Heart Project sangha to keep the conversation going.

The post How do we fight aggression without aggression? appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

To learn more and register for the upcoming meditation retreat at Drala Mountain Center, visit here.

The post Recording for an info session on what to expect on a meditation retreat appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I’ve started posting on Substack. It will be a space for me to share personal stories about Buddhism IRL, trying to write things, my love of music, enneagram musings, things I worry about, and why is it so hard to love?! Please head on over to subscribe and receive all future posts. I’d love to see you there. No paywall, everything is free.

I hope my stories will be of benefit to you. I’m still trying to figure out how to use it but here is the first essay in Buddhism Beyond Belief.

The post Introducing a new way to connect (via Substack) appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Before today’s sit, I share with you a chant I have been doing for more than 30 years: The Four Dharmas of Gampopa. In this short talk, I talk about who Gampopa was and how magical these four dharmas are. In fact, they outline the entire journey in just 4 sentences:

Grant your blessing so that my mind may be one with the dharma.
Grant your blessing so that dharma may progress along the path.
Grant your blessing so that the path may clarify confusion.
Grant your blessing so that confusion may dawn as wisdom.

Please have a listen to hear a bit more about what each line means who this “you” is of whom you request blessings. What do you think? I always love to hear from you. 

With love, 
Susan

PS: At the end of this video, I mention the two in-person retreats I’m teaching this year:

Kripalu April 11–13
Drala Mountain Center Aug 25–Sep 1

Would be great to see you at either.

The post In which the entire spiritual path is explained in 4 sentences appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

In the past weeks, I’ve tried to convey to you how important your practice is–and not just for yourself (which it is), but for others and for this world. I outlined 6 points to explain how we view our practice here in the OHP as way more than self-help, but as a path of genuine transformation. If you want to go back and listen (or re-listen), they are all listed below. 

This week, I share with you the 7th point: one of the most important spiritual lessons I ever learned, though it seemed at first to be masquerading as advice from some Miss Manners or other. IT ISN’T!!

Here it is: Clean up after yourself, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

Please have a listen to this video where I walk through what this means. And share a very embarrassing story about something stupid I did involving pizza boxes. 

Enjoy!

With love,
Susan

The OHP View of Practice:

We Engage in Daily Ritual 
We Live as Mystics (Hiding in Plain Sight) 
The Personal is Not the Obstacle–It is the Way 
The Meaning and Power of Heartbreak
The Importance of Dreaming to Make a Better World
Maintaining Mental and Emotional Boundaries

The post Sharing with you one of the most important spiritual lessons I ever learned (spoiler: you already know how to do it) appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Before today’s sit, I share a few thoughts (okay, more than a few) about the vital importance of remaining in control of your attention. Many forces in the world are vying for it, including people you agree and disagree with. 

While it is of utmost importance to pay attention to the suffering and chaos of the world, it is of equal importance to conserve our mental and emotional energies so that we can deploy them effectively for the benefit of others. This is not about staying positive or reducing stress. It’s about holding on to your wisdom and compassion. Please have a listen and let me know what you think.

With love,
Susan

The post The importance of emotional boundaries—and how meditation helps appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

During our conversation yesterday, some expressed (understandable) uncertainty about which skandha (heap) went with which sense perception and so on. I made this very inadequate drawing that hopefully clarifies more than it confuses.

Love,
Susan

The post Inexplicable Joy: On the Heart Sutra – Info Session on February 12, 2025 appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

To continue the conversation, please consider signing up for Buddhism Beyond Belief. Here is the curriculum:

Curriculum (some topics subject to change to a different date)
January 30: The Power of Ritual
Feb 6: Establishing Your Personal Ritual
Feb 13: The Power of Lineage
Feb 20: The Four Noble Truths
Feb 27: The Noble Eightfold Path
March 6: NO CLASS (a week to process and assimilate)
March 13: The Six Paramitas (Transcendent Actions)
March 20: The Heart Sutra: A Source of Inexplicable Joy
March 27: Mandala Principle
April 3: Protecting Your Mind (And Heart)
April 10: Magnetizing Magic
April 17: Special Bonus Class on the enneagram

Classes take place on Thursdays from 6p-7:30p ET with the option to join a Saturday morning (in your time zone) small group peer-led discussion for an hour. All the details are here.

I’d love to see you there! If you have any questions, please email us.

With love, Susan

The post Buddhism Beyond Belief: Info Session on 10 January 2025 at 6PM ET appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

This video suggests three ways we can work with so-called negative emotions. There are so many all over the place! It can be very difficult to figure out how to work with rage, fear, and, perhaps most dangerous, apathy. I hope you find something useful in the thoughts I share. It is very important to find ways to work with your mind so please use the 10-minute meditation as you wish.

With love,
Susan

PS:
For more in depth teachings on how Buddhism and meditation practice can help you handle the ups and downs of life, you’re invited to join the Open Heart Project sangha.

Members receive access to daily meditations, weekly opportunities to ask me questions, access to special monthly programs dedicated to deepening your connection to the dharma, and more. You can learn more and join here. See how we spent 2024 together as a sangha in my end of year report.

The post How to keep difficult feelings from taking over appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

To continue the conversation, please consider signing up for Buddhism Beyond Belief. Here is the curriculum:

Curriculum (some topics subject to change to a different date)
January 30: The Power of Ritual
Feb 6: Establishing Your Personal Ritual
Feb 13: The Power of Lineage
Feb 20: The Four Noble Truths
Feb 27: The Noble Eightfold Path
March 6: NO CLASS (a week to process and assimilate)
March 13: The Six Paramitas (Transcendent Actions)
March 20: The Heart Sutra: A Source of Inexplicable Joy
March 27: Mandala Principle
April 3: Protecting Your Mind (And Heart)
April 10: Magnetizing Magic
April 17: Special Bonus Class on the enneagram

Classes take place on Thursdays from 6p-7:30p ET with the option to join a Saturday morning (in your time zone) small group peer-led discussion for an hour. All the details are here.

I’d love to see you there! If you have any questions, please email us.

With love, Susan

The post Buddhism Beyond Belief: Info Session on 10 January 2025 at 10AM ET appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

The post 2024 sangha review and where we’re headed in 2025 appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Happy new year! May all beings become sane.

Before we sit today, I describe 3 different ways of viewing the spiritual journey to enlightenment, according to the Buddhist view (while recovering from hip replacement surgery, which is why my leg is sticking out). You are on one of these paths, I promise!

Please have a listen and let me know what you think.

With much love,
Susan

The post 3 Paths to Enlightenment appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Happy new year! May all beings become sane. 

Before today’s sit, I thought it would be good to go over the biggest misconceptions about meditation practice. After all, many of you may be wanting to reinvigorate your practice in the new year and reviewing these potential stumbling blocks may help. That is the intention!

To fully reinvigorate your practice, please take part in our 21-Day Meditation Challenge which begins on Jan 1. Each day you’ll receive an email from me with a guided practice and a short (around 2 minutes) video with an insight or tip about meditation. All you have to do is click play and by Jan 21 your practice will have become a trustworthy habit. The program includes a gathering with me on Jan 25 to check in, hear your reflections, and answer any questions you may have. The cost is $54 OR it is free for OHP Sangha members ($27 a month). I’ll let you do the math on that! I’d love to see you there in all cases. All the details are here. 

With love and hope and faith,
Susan

The post Let’s enter 2025 with a strong meditation practice + a 21-day meditation challenge appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I know it’s crazy out there. Whatever your beliefs or politics, it is not easy to feel certain about the future and how we are going to bridge the many divides in our countries, our neighborhoods, even our homes. It can seem impossible, I understand. However, according to Buddhist thought, it is definitely possible. All you have to do are 6 things. They are called the six paramitas: generosity, discipline, patience, exertion, meditative absorption, and wisdom.

In this short talk, I explain a bit more about this and briefly describe the first paramita, generosity and how it arises in 3 forms.

To explore the paramitas in more detail, please join our free program, Dec 26-31: Building a Mindful New Year. Each day at 3p ET, a different experienced dharma teacher will show up online to discuss one of the paramitas with you. All the details are here.

Did I mention it was free? Please share with anyone who might be interested in this wonderful way to enter a new year together.

Register even if you can’t join live; all sessions are recorded and you’ll have access to them until Jan 14.

With love and friendship, Susan

The post 6 ways to create more sanity and balance (for real) appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Before today’s sit, I share with you the reason (IMO) 99% of people who wish to meditate have difficulty with consistency. It simply cannot be so that 99% of people lack self-discipline! It must be something else. In this short talk, I suggest that you need three things to steady your practice–and knowing how to meditate is only one of them. 

Please have a listen and let me know what you think. I always love to hear from you.

With love and friendship,

Susan

The post How to become fully consistent in your meditation practice. I promise. appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

According to Buddhist wisdom, when we suffer sorrows and anger, we may reflexively react in three ways that actually increase our suffering. They are called the 3 poisons. Bad news: they’re poisonous! Good news: They’re optional!

Please have a listen and let me know what you think. Or feel. Always happy to hear from you.

Much love,
Susan

The post Meeting difficult moments with wisdom: 3 suggestions appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

There is only one thing you can’t do: Imagine that you are any different that who or what you hate. When we carve the world into “us” and “them” we all lose. Period. This practice helps us to remain within the realm of “only us” without ceasing to fight the good fight.

Please have a look/listen and see how it works for you. Let me know in comments. I always love to hear from you.

Love, Susan

Audio only is here

The post Election Day Loving Kindness Meditation appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I’m reflecting on a time I posted this message to social media: “What if we never chose sides? What if we chose to care about each other?”

I knew as I was posting that this would make some people mad because nothing angers people more than suggesting non-aggression. (The blog post I wrote that received the most negative and enraged comments ever was called “Compassion for our Enemies.”) People immediately think, We should, ought, must take sides against and fight. how can I have compassion for Hitler or child abusers or puppy kickers? These are things we should, ought, must take sides against and fight. Of course, they are right. But they are wrong to think that compassion means condoning these things from some navel-gazing woo-woo new age (bullshit) perspective. Or that I’m simply a coward, a big baby, or both. Compassion is for suckers, they believe.

Actually, compassion is a sword of power. I mean, enemies are real and we must fight them with our whole hearts. However, when we fight what we hate by trying to summon more vitriol and hostility than our enemy, we always, always lose. The entire scope of recorded history is my witness. It takes far more courage to work with our feelings of rage than it does to hide from them by acting them out.

When we look underneath rage, we will find a wall of sadness and grief.

There is so much to be sad about in this world. Because it is so uncomfortable, we immediately want to turn sadness into what we imagine will hurt less: anger, hopelessness, helplessness. When the wish to help is rooted in anger, it will only create more confusion. And of course, when we feel hopeless or helpless, we take refuge in non-action, which also creates confusion.

When we allow sadness, action arises from love.

I believe that sadness and the willingness to feel altogether are the antidotes to the hatred and degradation in our world. All the things we abhor were committed by people who were hurt and didn’t know what to do next. They may have been unable to feel their (very, very justified) pain. Some pain is too much to bear. We need help. It may sound trite, but it is true. Therefore, when we develop some capacity to feel, we also develop the capacity to restore our world to sanity.

Be brave. Be sad.

Please practice non-hatred. Please practice solving rather than winning. Please practice taking the first step toward love. You can do it. I know this because it is what you practice each time you sit on your cushion (or chair!!) to meditate, each time you pick up your journal, and each time you allow your heart to break open to this world.

Keep me posted.

Love,
Susan

The post Only non-aggression defeats aggression appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

With love,

Susan

PS The Open Heart Project sangha is a community within the OHP. We practice meditation together every day (whether live or via a recording), check in with each other on Fridays, gather for webinars and conversations about how to live our most awakened lives. Very, very helpful during this time of stress.

Please join! It would be great to see you there.

The post Finding power and confidence during an insane time: 4 suggestions appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Our sangha gathering on October 4th practiced loving kindness for hurricane victims. Here is the recording. May our practice be of benefit.

Love,

Susan

The post Loving Kindness Meditation for Hurricane Victims appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

I wish I could tell you that Buddhism had some solution to all of this. It does not. However, it does offer a teaching called the “Four Karmas” which gives us four very clear options for meeting the moments of our lives with something beneficial. 

When I think of the outcomes I hope, wish, long for, my mind becomes heavy and fearful. When I think, what can I do right now to increase sanity, my energy returns. When my mind is in the future, all I feel is my powerlessness. When it is present, I see options and thus feel empowered. The Four Karmas offer us four choices for planting seeds of goodness.

I hope you find this useful! That’s the whole idea! Let me hear your thoughts if you’re so inclined.

With love,

Susan

PS The Open Heart Project sangha is a community within the OHP. We practice meditation together every day (whether live or via a recording), check in with each other on Fridays, gather for webinars and conversations about how to live our most awakened lives. Very, very helpful during this time of stress. Please join! It would be great to see you there.

In the face of all the challenges of today’s interconnected world, is optimism about the future of humanity idealistic? Perhaps it is. Is it unrealistic? Certainly not. To remain indifferent to the challenges we face is indefensible. If the goal is noble, whether or not it is realized within our lifetimes is largely irrelevant. What we must do, therefore, is to strive and persevere and never give up. -The Dalai Lama

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This morning I got an email from one of you asking for some thoughts on compassion fatigue. First thought? It’s real. There is so much strife and sorrow and so many people, it seems, who hold tight to beliefs and wishes that we know are ridiculous at best and dangerous at worst. How to keep caring when all of this is true? How to avoid cutting people out of our hearts while also remaining true to ourselves? What is self-care in a time of rage? We are all exhausted right now–now what?

These are among the most important questions you can ask right now. In this video, I offer some thoughts (including a story about my own ridiculous behavior) that I hope will help you. 

TL;DR: the antidote to compassion fatigue is sangha. Community. You. Me. Us. I’m offering a free month in the Open Heart Project sangha, beginning right now and lasting through election season. There are many opportunities to practice, discuss, and just hold space together. This is the best way I know of to stay sane, balanced, honest, and energized–without cutting others out of our hearts completely. All the details are here. If you run into any problems registering, just email us. 

With love and faith in the three jewels, 

Susan

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May all beings discover their inherent sanity and decency. 

Although it may sound improbable, meditation is a direct conduit to such qualities. It introduces space between what we think and what we do, how we feel and the conclusions we draw about self and other. Truly, the world is in need of people who know how to work with their minds–not as stress-reduction or in order to get a better night’s sleep (both of which are awesome) but to be of benefit to this world. This is why the Open Heart Project was created to begin with.

Over in the Open Heart Project sangha we are spending the entire year on the topic of spiritual practice IRL. If you have any interest in joining, please check it out. It would be great to see you there.

In today’s video, I talk a bit about the #1 most difficult task for spiritual practitioners: how to express loving kindness for those we may hate. (Spoiler alert: you don’t have to forgive anyone or excuse anything…) Please have a listen to learn more.

With love, Susan

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One of the stories I told took place in a conversation in the Open Heart Project sangha, our membership community. Please think about joining. It’s important–some would say necessary–to journey together with others, to be held, and accompanied. Even though each path is solitary, to tread the path alone together changes…everything. 

With love, 
Susan

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First is mindfulness of body—we hold our posture in a certain way.

Second is mindfulness of breath—we place attention on breath and, when it strays, bring it back.

Third is mindfulness of mind. But what does this mean?

Are we trying to monitor each thought and when we see one, turn away from it? 

Or are we supposed to empty our minds of thought in order to meditate? (Those of you who know me know what I’m going to say—absolutely not.)

Are we supposed to quiet our minds? (Not necessary, this happens on its own when we apply the technique. No effort required.)

Are we supposed to look carefully for insight into the nature of reality—or should we just relax and let things flow and twist and turn and trust that eventually our minds will sort themselves out?

Actually, none of the above.

Most of us tend to prefer either super close examination and keeping a very tight leash on our minds OR relinquishing control and letting things sort of run amok. The first danger is mistaking vigilance for awareness. The second danger is in becoming lost in the display of thought, feeling, and sensation.

If we want our meditation practice to lead us to peace and enlightenment and happiness, what then is the middle ground?

There is a famous story about a sitar player who requested to meet with the Buddha to discuss his meditation practice. He asked him, “Should I maintain tight controls on my mind during meditation or should I let it flow?” The Buddha asked, “How do you tune your instrument?” The sitar play said, “If I tune the strings too tightly, they break. If they are too loose, no sound comes out.” “Just so,” replied the Buddha, “you should hold your mind in meditation.” Not too tight—let your thoughts be as they are, allow your mind to be at rest within its activity, feel its flow and energy—and not too loose—remember to apply the technique with a light touch to maintain an environment of order and clarity and, perhaps above all, let go and keep letting go until you even let go of letting go.

So as you go about your life today, as you look at your to-do list, listen to your child’s voice, sit down with your boss to discuss a project, or even simply leaf through a magazine, tune in every now and then to ask yourself: Where is my mind right now? Too tight (anxious, demanding, narrow)? Too loose (spacy, unfocused, dull)? Or just right, as Goldilocks might say…meaning: awake, joyous, and on the dot.

To learn more about meditation, the spiritual path, and yourself please join the Open Heart Project sangha.

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It’s possible you thought, as did I, that meditation would help you feel…less. Less rage. Less sorrow. I’d have even settled for less crankiness. No such luck–I’m still a human being. I made this video for those of you who fear that anger or other so-called negative emotions mean you are not a spiritual person. YOU ARE!  

Before today’s sit, I offer some thoughts on how to work with our most difficult feelings. Note: none of these suggestions are about becoming anything other than who you are. All of them are about how we can work with anything that arises within us as our path: even rage, bitterness, fear, and heartache, all the things we just wish we did not have to feel. It is all fodder for your awakening. At least that’s what I think.

What do you think? I always love to hear from you. 

With love, Susan

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While I was meditating, y’all. As lame as I may be as a meditator and a Buddhist, I recognized that this was the wrong way to go. Even though I know I am “right,” I also know that whatever hate I feel will only worsen the situation. A cursory glance at the entire scope of recorded history proves my point: Hate leads to hate. The hatred I feel for others further fuels the hatred they feel for me. This is unavoidable.

Someone has got to put an end to it.

But how? There is no way I can or will try to cajole myself into feeling anything whatsoever soft towards those I believe are doing harm to others and this world. Some people represent very real threats. Action must be taken, and it should be swift, decisive, and unrelenting until all beings are protected from harm.

How then can we take powerful and potent action against what we know is wrong (and hateful) without hate and anger in our hearts?

I don’t know how to answer this question, I’m sorry. However, I do have some clues and here they are.

1. Begin by examining your own personal view of humanity. Do you believe, or, more importantly, do you feel that, at our core, we humans are A. good or B. bad? By A, I mean, do you trust us? Do you trust yourself? Do you believe that underneath it all, we care about ourselves and each other and are full of tenderness and grace? Or, B, do you believe that underneath it all, we are craven, self-centered beings who are only out for ourselves and are incapable of seeing past our own small viewpoint?

Albert Einstein said, “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.” Please consider that everything that proceeds from A creates more A and everything that proceeds from B creates more B. Just for now.

2. If “A” is true, then all of the heinous, vicious, violent, hate in the world is actually a form of extraordinary, wrong-headed, deep, and vile confusion—but not of evil. To hold this view does not make anything better, not at all. However, it does create space in our hearts and minds, some sense of, this is totally not the way things are supposed to be, how can we fix it…rather than, until these people are gone, there is no hope. 

What I’m trying to say is that choosing “A” is akin to choosing a sense of unification with our fellow humans, some of whom are profoundly, vastly fucked up. Choosing “B” means only one thing: there is “Us” and there is “Them” and until They are gone, We are screwed. As alluded to above, this does not work. The problem is not whether we agree or disagree on certain positions or values. The problem is that we hate and distrust each other.

3. With some sense of sorrow and rage for the confusion of our world rather than icy, dismissive, degrading disdain for our opponents, we could take this view: Hating someone or something is okay even though it causes you way more pain than it does to anyone else. However, we’re human so it’s going to happen. There is only one thing that is not okay and it is to think that you are different from the person or people you hate. With a few small changes in your history, you could have been the person you hate. So, rage with revulsion. Keen in horror. Be repulsed and mercilessly unforgiving. I repeat: No problem. However, don’t think for one second that you are any different than whomever or whatever you despise.

4. Here is a practice that could help when caught in moments of hatred. When you find yourself engulfed in rage and terror, take a pause. Instead of fueling it with thoughts such as, “I can’t believe what these people think” or “can’t they see how wrong they are?” take a look at what is just beneath your anger and fear. Given that “A” is true, here is what I believe you will find: Sadness. Bottomless, searing, human sadness. Unremitting love for Planet Earth and its inhabitants. Supreme protectiveness of what you hold dear. 

These things are beautiful, workable, expansive. Take refuge in them.

Fear shrinks your mind. Tenderness expands it. Know that your “opponents” are exactly this way too. You may think they are idiots, but that’s okay. They think you’re an idiot. We could all examine going beyond this. 

Let’s you and I go first.

I wish you well in your struggle with hatred and fear. I have great, great faith in you, you, you, and you, and also in myself, even though I am obviously a bad Buddhist.

For now, hate and rage on. But use it as fuel for love. This is totally possible and I will be trying right alongside you.

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The first way is the path of monasticism. This is fairly straightforward in terms of understanding what is meant. You renounce this world and the things of this world—money, sex, buying a house, hanging out in bars, making a career, figuring out what to wear, raising children and so on—to devote yourself 101% to practice and study. Shelter, food, and housecleaning are provided and sustained by the monks and nuns themselves. They live in community.

The second way is the path of the forest yogi. These are people who also renounce the conventional world. The forest yogi sets out with nothing: no money, no shelter, no route to follow. In the olden days, these were wandering mendicants who meditated in caves and on cliffs, inviting the phenomenal world to teach them everything there is to know. When hungry, they walked from house to house with a begging bowl. Today, the forest yogis might be those of us who give up conventional life to become renegades or rogues. People such as Henry David Thoreau and Emily Dickinson come to mind. More recently, the great Buddhist meditation master and spiritual leader Mingyur Rinpoche walked this path. One day in 2011, his students knocked on his door and found that he had disappeared. For four years. During that time, he wandered in anonymity. His community did not know where he was or what he was doing. (He recently resurfaced and this is a bit of an insight into what happened.)

The third way does not involve renouncing this world. In fact, it involves the opposite. It is the path of diving headfirst into ordinary life and taking it and all its details—money, sex, buying a house, hanging out in bars, making a career, figuring out what to wear, raising children, and so on—as the path itself. This is a very interesting thing to do. It is just as profound as the paths of the monastic and the forest yogi. In fact, there are some who say that it is the most difficult path.

If you are reading this, there is a 99% chance that you are a Householder. It is a very potent path, my friends. It has the power to infuse the ordinary with profound magic. At the same time, it is what it is: preparing food, sweeping up, doing the laundry, watching television, riding the bus, and so on. The is-ness is the thing here.

The game-changing thing to know about the householder path is this: It is not a layman’s path. Traditionally, a layman is “someone who is a non-ordained member of a church, or a person who is not qualified in a given profession and/or does not have specific knowledge of a certain subject.” This definition does not apply. The householder path is not defined by what you are not. In our view, the householder is just as much on the path to enlightenment as anyone—but rather than using renunciation as a path, we use full-tilt engagement with the conventional world. Well, we do renounce one thing—that who we are and what we do have no meaning and thus we have no power to change the world. That view goes out the window entirely.

One could say that the householder path involves three stages.

In the first stage, we practice not being afraid of ourselves. Meditation provides the working basis. (For support, please consider signing up for the Open Heart Project sangha.)

In the second stage, we practice removing ourselves from the center of the universe to communicate genuinely with others. Caring is the working basis.

In the third stage, we take an unstinting interest in our world and every one of its details. We open. When we open, there is nothing to hold on to and so we enter a state of groundlessness. Letting go is the working basis. Some say that this is the same thing as enlightenment. Being unenlightened, I don’t know myself. But I have heard this.

Thoughts? I always love hearing from you.

Warmly,
Susan

PS: This post does not have a meditation video so if you’d like to practice together, please click here for last Monday’s video. The meditation starts at 11:27.

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Meeting the inner teacher is a profound and fascinating subject—and one rarely discussed when mindfulness meditation is taught as a self-help technique or life hack. As mindfulness makes its way into our culture, fewer and fewer teachers offer it for its spiritual benefits, which include pure wisdom, fierce compassion, and mind-bending courage. No religion or belief systems required.

When these qualities come together in a teacher’s personal presence, the student is supported, not to learn what you know, but to discover something within themselves. It is my greatest passion to teach others how to teach meditation in this way. 

I invite you to consider our upcoming Meditation Teacher Training, an 11-week program which begins September 7. All the details are here. I don’t have plans to teach this again until 2026 so if it is of interest, please apply soon.

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Dear Open Heart Project,

Hello, and a heartfelt thank you to everyone who reached out to me after my cat passed away. Your kindness has been received and welcome.

In this video, I share something I’ve been thinking about in relation so my own spiritual journey, what in Buddhism is called “the middle way.” What is it in the middle of? How does one find this midpoint? I hope you find interesting things to think about in regard to this question.

Let me hear any reflections you have. I always love to hear from you.

With love,
Susan

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First off, I want to say that if you are struggling with grief or depression, you may not want to listen to this because I cry and talk about my own sorrows. 

In this video, I share about my loss of a beloved household member, our cat, Sly. I didn’t know if I could talk about it because I am just so sad. I feel like someone tied a 5-pound weight around my heart. When I look at this video myself, I see how heavy my energy is. 

This is sorrow. Within it, there is something awake and intelligent. This does not make it any easier, but perhaps there is something important being communicated about love and sadness and their relationship.

If you are grieving, I hope you will find something useful here. If you’re not grieving, I hope you will find something useful as well. 

Love,
Susan

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In the meantime, I’m just back from teaching a retreat on the Heart Sutra in the Colorado Rocky Mountains. (The text we used is here.) As I was trained, the meaning of this profound text can be expressed in three ways. It is contained in the words themselves; the sound of the words; and the environment that is created (or discovered) when they are recited. 

What I want to focus on here is not the Heart Sutra (although I’m writing a small book about it, stay tuned!) but the layered way in which meaning is transmitted.

In Buddhist thought, these layers are called outer, inner, and secret. In this video, I try to explain what is meant—and then play a piece of music for you as a much better way of understanding it all. I chose “You Don’t Know What Love Is” as rendered by the great Chet Baker. In this video, I suggest you listen to it three times; once to hear the words, then to hear the sound of the words, and finally to note how or if the felt-sense of your environment shifts. 

The reason I’m going all out on this topic is because this is how we learn the dharma altogether—via outer, inner, and secret teachers. On the outer level, we hear or read someone’s words. On an inner level, our own wisdom is awakened. And on the secret (shhh!) level, our world somehow begins to change. 

How does this all sit with you? I’d love to hear.

Love,
Susan

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As I was thinking about this short talk this morning, I wanted to be sure to mention that I do not know any secrets to happiness…however, I have uncovered some secrets to unhappiness. Sort of joking? In any case, when we stop to examine our unhappiness we may discover something that alleviates suffering—not because we have crafted a solution but perhaps because we have opened up to tolerate the discomfort that gives rise to unhappiness. When we open, we create space around something that may otherwise read claustrophobic. Meditation is essential in this regard. It shows us how to pause. 

Also, I share a story about what happened to me a few nights ago when I woke up in an abject state of terror. 

Have a listen and let me know what you think. 

Love,
Susan

PS! Remember that you are warmly invited to join the Open Heart Project sangha, our membership community. The conversations go deeper and we have more time together. Please check it out, it would be great to see you there.

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That means we are out of luck because most of us are riddled with wanting, desire, and passions of all sorts. 

Well, maybe you’re out of luck. Maybe you’re just a human being. Love and rage and sorrow and joy are part of our lives. Now what? Please have a listen to this short talk on what grasping really means and how one might work with it to avoid (or cause) suffering.

Remember that you are warmly invited to join the Open Heart Project sangha, our membership community. The conversations go deeper and we have more time together. If money is an issue, know that we have a scholarship fund so if that is right for you, just hit reply and let us know.

With love, 
Susan

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One of the stories I told took place in a conversation in the Open Heart Project sangha, our membership community. Please think about joining. It’s important–some would say necessary–to journey together with others, to be held, and accompanied. Even though each path is solitary, to tread the path alone together changes…everything. 

With love, 
Susan

The post How (and why) to accept the unacceptable (aka impermanence) appeared first on The Open Heart Project.

Many of us wonder how we can achieve the inner peace and tranquility of the great teachers we love. This is an excellent quest. However, most of these great teachers (you may notice) are wearing robes. Why? Because they are monastics. We are not, presumably. Yet we seek to follow teachings that emphasize asceticism, non-attachment, and removing emotional afflictions. If we lived in monasteries and wanted to focus exclusively on practice, study, and contemplation, this would make a lot of sense. However, when we try to apply them to the life of a householder (i.e. our lives), we run into trouble. It’s not possible to be an ascetic when we have a full household. We can’t be non-attached in this world of great beauty and sorrow, where our very best is needed to create a better world. Emotional afflictions are simply part of the territory. So…now what?

Please have a listen to this short talk for some ideas. And let me know what you think. I may have rambled a bit as I searched for ways to express what may be inexpressible. You tell me. 

With love, 
Susan

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Before today’s meditation, I offer a few thoughts on the Middle Way, as Buddhism is sometimes referred to. No one has to be a Buddhist to benefit from contemplating this middle way. What is it in the middle of? What does it mean to me and my practice? Have a listen and let me know what you think.

If you want to take a deeper dive, here is a whole book you can download for free, authored by an esteemed teacher, Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche.

With love, 
Susan

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Before today’s practice, I share a few thoughts in response to a question I hear from you somewhat regularly: how to find a teacher? How do I know who and what to trust? Before today’s sit, I offer a few thoughts. Spoiler: there are no easy answers.

With love, 
Susan

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